'Blankets of Love' is a wonderful initiative started in Australia in 1992 by two sisters, one a midwife and one a quilter, to offer beautiful small quilts to parents of babies who have died at or around the time of birth as a lasting memento.
Initially, the quilts were made for babies who had died in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPAH) in Sydney but before long, requests came from the midwives on the antenatal and delivery wards so families whose baby died before birth could also receive a quilt. The program is now widespread across Australia (and beyond) largely due to hospital and patchwork/quilting networks, articles in the media and presentations to various groups that spread the word.
Jan Polverino, the midwife who started this initiative with her sister Shirley, writes:
"The aim is simple: to provide beautifully made small quilts to families who suffer the loss of a baby before or after birth as a memento, a celebration of the baby's birth and a symbol that the baby is precious and significant. Of course the quilt is offered (not forced) and an explanation is given to parents. Only occasionally is the offer of a quilt declined. Parents usually keep the quilt and take it home, often displaying it on the wall or incorporating it with other mementos of the baby. It can be a great conversation starter. Only once can I recall that a family decided to bury the quilt with the baby. It is the parent's choice. A mother was asked if she wanted us to wash her baby's quilt following her first cuddle with her baby as the baby died in her arms, because there was a blood spot on it. She said that the spot was part of her baby and she wanted to keep the quilt just as it was. So you can never really know what parents want without checking first. Other mothers have said that they can smell their babies on the quilt.
A powerful but unexpected outcome of the program is that it has given the community an extraordinary opportunity to speak about pregnancy losses, stillbirth and neonatal death and allow (mostly but not only) women to be connected in a special way. This can aid healing and foster important connections from their shared experience irrespective of when the losses occurred. Quilters who have suffered the loss of a baby themselves, in providing quilts for someone else, have told us that the physicality of sewing in some way gives them a sense of healing knowing that they are helping someone else who has a unique understanding of what they went through.
We are very proud of this project and welcome anyone who wants to start up elsewhere. It can only be a good thing if issues surrounding pregnancy loss are demystified and people can talk about it freely."
Making the quilts
It is most important that the quilts are made to the highest standard possible, as they will become an important memento for the receiving family.
The quilts are made approximately nappy size, (24 inches or 60 cm square) with some larger for bigger full term babies and some smaller for pre-term babies. They can be as simple as a pre-printed panel, a block with borders or an all-over pieced design. Machine or hand sew, and use thin wadding. If using flannel fabric on both sides, wadding may not be necessary. The quilts are finished with a binding.
Fabrics should be 100% pre-washed cotton and may be pastel or bright, patterned or plain. Use your imagination!
A label should be sewn across the corner of the quilt with the words " Blanket of Love".
These quilts become treasured mementos and therefore need to look attractive and be neatly finished.
How to get started
A project such as this requires considerable planning.
If you are an individual or a group wishing to provide quilts for a particular hospital, you'll need to...
- Establish a link with the hospital i.e. with a specific person in the Neonatal Unit or Delivery Suite (eg Nurse, Unit Manager)
- Make an ongoing commitment
- Keep a consistent standard
- Have your project co-ordinated well between the hospital and person or group providing the quilts
If you are interested in 'Blankets of Love' and would like more information, please contact the Child Bereavement Charity on 01494 446648.