Most grieving pupils do not need a “bereavement expert”, they need people who care. Schools, just by carrying on with their usual day to day activities, can do a huge amount to support a grieving child. The following are some helpful things schools can offer children and young people experiencing loss and grief.

Normality
For a child, or young person, whose life has been turned upside down, the routines of school life can give a sense of normality.  Everything else may have fallen apart but school and the people within it are still there, offering a sense of security and continuity.

Relief from grief
For young children and adolescents, school can give relief from an emotionally charged atmosphere at home.  They may feel overwhelmed by a grieving family.  There may be a constant stream of visitors expressing their own grief.  Children and young people can find this difficult to deal with.

An outlet for grief
When a parent or sibling has died, children and young people can try to spare their surviving parent by hiding their own grief and appearing to be OK.  School is often seen as somewhere safe to express this grief.

A listening ear
Children can be overlooked by family members struggling to deal with their own grief.  For a child who wishes to, school staff can provide an opportunity to talk about what has happened with a familiar and trusted adult in relative peace and calm.

The opportunity to be a child
Even when deeply sad, children still need to be children. Loss and grief are very grown up experiences. School offers the chance to play, laugh, sing and generally just be a child without feeling guilty.

General Support
Keep in contact with home. Discuss concerns but equally important are successes. The family or carers will find this reassuring. Grieving children and young people can display altered behaviours in different situations. Good communication with home will help school be aware of this and provide a more realistic picture of how the child is coping.

Resources
Have in school a selection of resources on the subject. Stories are a wonderful way to gently introduce young children to the concept of death. Novels and poems offer young people a chance to learn through reading, listening and discussion. Follow the Support and Information link at the top of the web page for recommended reading.