Breaking Sad News

Giving news of a death in a school community is something that we would rather not have to do, but sadly, there will be times when it is necessary. The following are guidelines to help you, and includes suggestions for words to use. These are not prescriptive and are offered only as a starting point from which you choose your own path to follow.

Guidelines for Breaking Sad News to a Class or at an Assembly

• Whoever is giving the news should prepare themselves with what to say.
• Don`t be afraid to show emotion - this just shows that you are human but can throw you if you are not expecting to react in this way.
• Start by acknowledging you have some sad news to give.
• Be honest, give the news stating simple facts, use the words dead/died.
• If known, explain how, where and when the death occurred.
• If not known, say so, and that you will endeavour to find out. If rumours are rife, say which of these are definitely not correct.
• Talk briefly about the person who has died without eulogising them.
• Let the school know of any arrangements already in place.
• Close by acknowledging that not everyone will be feeling sad and that is OK.

A DEATH THAT AFFECTS THE WHOLE SCHOOL e.g. death of a pupil or a member of staff.
A whole school assembly, usually delivered by a Headteacher, can be used for this situation. The benefit is that the entire school receives the same news at the same time, keeping speculation and rumour at bay. Follow the assembly with some classroom time for pupils to express any thoughts or feelings around the news that they have just been given. End with something practical to do such as writing cards.  

Suggested Words for a Primary School Assembly
I have some very sad news to tell you. Jim Jones in year 9 died on Saturday morning. He was crossing the road with his Mum on the way to the local shop. A car being driven too fast knocked him down.

An ambulance was called and Jim was taken to hospital. The doctors and nurses did all they could to try to save his life but his injuries were too severe and tragically he died. His mum is not injured.

Jim was well known throughout the school for being a Manchester United fan and a very keen member of the football team.  He was only nine years old and much too young to die but sadly very occasionally accidents do sometimes happen.

Some of you may be feeling shocked at this news, some of you might be feeling rather frightened, some of you might be feeling nothing at all.  All of these feelings are OK.

Our thoughts are with Jim`s Mum, his Dad, and his little sister Mary who must wish with all their hearts that this terrible accident had never happened.

When you go to your classes after this assembly, you can spend some time thinking about what I have just told you. Your teachers will try to answer any questions that you might have.  We can all help Jim`s family a little bit by drawing a picture of our favourite memory of Jim or just writing a card that we can send to let them know that we are thinking about them.

The school will probably be holding a special assembly next week for Jim when we can spend more time thinking about him, remembering him, and say a special goodbye. When I have more details I will let you all know. If any of you have ideas for this or would like to take part, I would love to hear from you.

Suggested Words for a Secondary School Assembly
The same principles apply but using language more appropriate for young people.
Click here to see Saying Goodbye - organising a special assembly 

A DEATH THAT AFFECTS AN INDIVIDUAL PUPIL e.g. death of a parent.
The wishes of the pupil directly affected need to be taken into account. A whole school assembly may not be appropriate or wanted, but the decision will be influenced by the size of the school and how well known the dead person was to the school community. A delicate balance is required between the individual and private grief of the pupil and possible need to acknowledge and address the situation with the whole school.

Many schools firstly tell the class or year group most affected, and follow this up with a brief acknowledgment during assembly.

• If possible, involve the pupil by asking them how they would like this to be handled. A home visit, if agreed with the family, may be requireed if the pupil is not at school.
• If the pupil was not present when the news was given, make sure that they are told what was said and when.
• Whoever is giving the news should be supported and ideally not be in the classroom on their own with the pupils.