Sarra Perkins

Steve and I were late going to bed the night before he died - in fact it was 1am on Friday 6th December, we both went upstairs at the same time, Steve went in to see Thomas and I Elliot, we then crossed on the landing and Steve went in to Elliot and I saw Thomas, as I was coming out of Thomas' room Steve was just getting into bed. I then snuggled up to him and asked him if he wanted his back scratched? - he never replied and I must have then also fallen asleep.

The next thing was that I heard a pitter-patter of feet and then Thomas said, "Can I come into bed Mummy?" I asked the time and he said that it had gone 6am, so in he got, we had a quick cuddle and I rolled over to face Steve - he was due to go on Elliot's first school trip that day so I thought that we could all have breakfast together.

At first I thought Steve was still asleep and snoring loudly, then I realised it was more of a snort - he was in exactly the same position as he had been the night before when he had fallen asleep. I rubbed his arm gently to try and wake him and the snorting got louder - I then tried talking to him and stroking his forehead thinking that he was having a nightmare - he then sounded like he was going to be sick so I tried to lift his head up - at this point it was like he jumped with a great force out of bed and fell onto the bedroom floor facing me, blood coming from his mouth - I then knew it was a lot more serious.

I went to him, he was still breathing, I rang 999, I kept very calm because Thomas was watching and listening to everything - Steve's heart started to race really hard - the ambulance was taking forever - Steve stopped breathing - the phone operator talked me through what to do - I did everything I possibly could but I knew. The paramedics arrived and asked me to take Thomas and leave the room, I went downstairs and phoned a friend who is also a neighbour and he came to sit with me. The next half hour seemed like a whole day, several other medics turned up and they tried to resuscitate Steve. Everyone was busy and not telling us anything until a leather-clad paramedic came to tell me that Steve had stopped breathing and that they were doing the breathing for him, they were going to take him to hospital where a crash team was waiting to work on him. I watched as Steve left our house.

I arrived a little later at the hospital and was taken straight into a dark relatives room - I did not have to be told - Steve had died.

I sat with him for four hours, talking and holding hands but then the hospital had to do 'things' and I had to leave.

I had questions, many questions and I needed answers - no one had these for me - what
was I supposed to tell our boys?

I went home, shortly after the Coroner's Officer phoned me, he was lovely and explained what would have to happen with regard to having a Post Mortem. A little while after that I had a phone call from the University of Manchester - I spoke to a very nice lady who explained who she was, where from and about the Dyamis Study that was being carried out and would I possibly be interested - I had no hesitation in saying yes. I saw it as a chance of hopefully getting some of my questions answered. A meeting was arranged for two days later. I met the researcher and answered all her questions about Steve's general health, background etc. She then explained everything else that would happen, the Post Mortem, small tissue samples that would be taken, she took the time to explain everything and she also managed to answer some of my questions about what would happen to Steve, why did the tubes have to stay in etc. I felt very much at ease with her and it did help me to talk about it. I was pleased that I would know someone who would be at the Post Mortem. It was also arranged that straight afterwards we would meet again so she could talk to me about it, tell me anything that was found or not found - This was also a tremendous help to me.

Sarah spent a lot of time both talking and listening to me - I am so pleased and grateful that I accepted the research project as I have found out such a lot since with regard to Steve's death. I do feel that I would not have been able to start rebuilding a life for myself and our boys had I not agreed to it. Steve also would have been in total agreement of it.