Jim and Elspeth Gill

On 12^th November 1979 we had the perfect family. Steven aged 2 years and Lindsay aged 4 months. I was a Traffic Police Officer and on this day I was on patrol duties when I heard of a family who had just suffered the loss of their son, through a Cot Death. Due to Lindsay being the same age as the baby that had died, on arriving home I discussed it with Elspeth. As it the case when not personally involved, after a short time one just gets on with life as normal.

Three days later, on 15^th November, tragedy struck our home when we found Lindsay dead in her pram. We were told that she had been a Cot Death victim.

Sensitive Police Enquiries

Due to me being a Police Constable an Inspector carried out the enquiry into Lindsay's sudden death. Obviously with my experience and background I was able to explain to Elspeth the procedures and reasons why such as enquiry was necessary. That said, the approach and manner used by the Inspector was first class. He could not have been more caring or understanding. Everything was fully and tactfully explained to us both and we were informed as to where Lindsay would be taken and why. Perhaps the most important thing he did was when removing Lindsay from the house, he used the carrycot part of the pram to take her away. This was so natural as this was where she slept during the day and sadly died. Frequently, weeks and months after a death, I have been asked by parents, was our baby just laid on the back seat of a police car?

As a result of the caring and sensitive way in which we had been dealt with, I later, when working with the Scottish Cot Death Trust, wrote a leaflet "Information for Police Officers". The leaflet is designed so that it can be carried by police officers and should they receive a call to attend a Cot Death, they can then take a couple of minutes to read over the leaflet so as to be better prepared to carry out their duties when they attend the scene.

Decisions we Regret

At the time of Lindsay's death some very important issues were made with the best of intention but in retrospect proved to have been bad decisions. You have to remember that I am talking over twenty years ago and at that time people were not as open about dealing with death and grief as they are today.

I remember when the Inspector said that it was time for him to remove Lindsay, I was the protective male and told Elspeth that I would see to this and said that she should remain in the lounge. I then went and held Lindsay for the last time before returning her to her carrycot, for the Inspector to take her away.

Whilst this was done for all the right reasons it turned out, for Elspeth, to be the wrong thing. She had been denied the chance to hold Lindsay and to say her farewell. Equally she now regrets that she did not speak up and say what she wanted at the time.

Another example was a relative who, again for the best of reasons, decided to remove the steriliser and feeding bottles from sight. Perhaps worst of all was the removal of a small pink toothbrush from a toothbrush holder leaving Steven's blue one. The void created really hit hard and to us implied that as Lindsay had died it was as if we should forget about her.

We have spoken to families who have had arrangements taken out of their hands and who have later regretted these actions. This has involved a cremation being arranged and carried out when really the parents had wished for a burial. Family removing clothing and other items without involving the parents in the decision as to how and when.

Because of these examples whenever we visit any bereaved families we try to tell the family and friends to be supportive and to help by giving the immediate family all the choices they can, but not to take decisions away from them. While most decisions are hard and painful to make it is so important that they are made by the parents themselves.

Assistance Received

At the time of Lindsay's death we received invaluable support from family, friends, colleagues and from Elspeth's doctor. This was even more relevant when shortly after Elspeth became pregnant. As you can imagine the pregnancy was a worrying time for us both as we wondered how we would cope with a new baby and the fear that the same could happen again.

The help and support we received from the medical profession was excellent. After Douglas was born our Health Visitor looked in virtually daily until she saw how we were coping and then she started to slowly reduce the level of support. At the same time the doctor was tremendous and did not appear to mind the extra visits to the surgery, when Douglas had the slightest ailment.

When Douglas came home we were quite frantic and continually checked on him. We were not satisfied to see that he was apparently well but would prod him to see him move. I'm sure he must now have a complex about seeing a finger pointing at him. After five weeks we were fortunate to receive the use of equipment to monitor Douglas's breathing. This, as you may imagine, gave us great piece of mind.

Post Mortem and Organ Retention

In Scotland the police act on behalf of the Procurator Fiscal when they investigate any sudden death. He is responsible for overseeing the enquiry and he can call for a Public Enquiry if deemed necessary. The Procurator Fiscal is also responsible for prosecutions in court similar to the Crown Prosecution Service in England.

In the case of any sudden death in Scotland a post mortem has to be carried out to determine the cause of death. The families have no choice in this matter.

Clearly, as a result of such a post mortem often tissue samples or organs have to be removed so that further tests which may confirm the cause of death, can be carried out. Such tests frequently cannot be carried out for some time, as the specimens have to undergo various processes.

In years gone by such information was not given to parents and this I feel was done to prevent further anguish to them. However, nowadays as I have already said, people deal with grief differently and many people now wish to know these things. This creates the terrible dilemma for the professionals involved as parents would have to decide whether to hold more than one funeral as and when samples could be returned or whether to wait, what could be a considerable time, to hold the one.

As far as Elspeth and myself are concerned we only found out about a year ago that Lindsay's brain had been removed and had not been returned when we buried her. We however, feel that we still buried her and that we were not informed to protect us from any more pain. We also truly believe that if by retaining some tissue or organ the reason for her death could be found and other lives saved, then it is right that this should happen. I do accept that in this day and age many parents want to know this so they should be given this information. I am equally aware that further research is carried out on such samples as and when medical science progresses. Without the ability to retain these samples this research cannot be done and therefore in our view the chance of prevention may well be lost.