Children, like adults, will experience shock and disbelief and may not take in everything at once. They will assimilate as little or as much as they can bear at any one time. They are likely to need repeated explanations with pauses to enable them to digest the information and they may want to have time alone. They need to be told what is likely to happen next, who is available to help them. Clear information needs to be given about the opportunity of returning at a later date to ask questions from the professional staff they have met.

Children's reactions can vary from deep despair to denial or active protest. Whatever their reaction, it is important that they are allowed to express their feelings without being stopped or urged to "be brave" or to "be the big boy now who can look after the family".

How children respond to the death of a family member depends on a number of factors including:

• Their age and consequent understanding of death
• The nature of their relationship with the person who has died
• The circumstances of the death
• The reaction of other family members to the death
• The overall effect on the family unit
• Their culture and religion

Further information in relation to bereaved children and young people:

• Explaining to Young Children that Someone has Died
• Children's Understanding of Death at Different Ages
• Explaining Funerals, Burial and Cremation to Children
• Viewing a Body with a Child
• How Children and Young People Grieve
• What Helps Grieving Children and Young People
• Building Resilience in Bereaved Children
• Children with Special Needs and Their Grief