Many young people find that returning to studies or work after the death of someone special is quite a hard thing to do even if a part of them just wants to get back to their usual routines. 

Mina, age 12, whose Dad died, told us a few worries that she had were
“I couldn’t relax” and “People talking about me behind my back”.

Telling others.....

“Something I found difficult when I started somewhere new was telling people” Young People's Advisory Group member, Age 15

When you are ready to return to your studies or workplace arrange a meeting with your tutor or boss. You may want to talk to them about how they can best support you at this time and how you would like others to be told about what has happened.

Sometimes others may forget that you might be finding things especially hard and things may happen, or others may say something or act in a certain way which makes you feel upset.  Try and tell someone you trust if this happens.

Starting somewhere new…..

When someone dies it may mean many changes in your life, this could mean starting at a new school, college or workplace. This will mean adjusting to a new environment and new people. Going to University may mean moving to a new town or city, away from your home, family and friends. Lydia's Mum died when she was 16, she recently started University. Read about her experience here.   

Find out about support available to you before you start somewhere new. It may be useful to meet with your new tuto or boss to let them know about what has happened and how they can best support you.

If how you are feeling is affecting your studies or your work….

Your studies or work may feel completely irrelevant and no longer important to you now. You may keep being late, skip classes or decide not to turn up. Or, you may find yourself overloading yourself in work as a way to block out the painful feelings. You may end up reaching breaking point.  Schools, Colleges, University and workplaces can be very supportive, try letting someone know that you feel you are not coping.

We can help the people around you to support you. If you are in education and you feel that the school, college or university staff are not as understanding as they could be, get them to look at our schools section. If you are working, you or your employer can call our support and information line on 01494 568900 or email us.