Children with learning difficulties are sometimes assumed to need protection from death and dying more than most or not have the capacity to understand. Whilst to a certain extent this is true, we often underestimate their abilities to cope with tough things in life. The challenge is finding creative ways to communicate when words are sometimes not appropriate.

If using words, use the real ones e.g. dead and dying, not euphemisms. Use as many real life examples as you can, e.g. pictures of funerals and coffins to aid understanding.

Acknowledge any death. To ignore what has happened implies that this is an unimportant event and denies the existence of the person who has died.

Try not to exclude from the helpful rituals of death such as condolence cards or attending the funeral. If this is not appropriate, make sure that the child or young person is given an opportunity to say goodbye with their own simple ceremony.

Pre-grief work is especially important to help prepare for an expected death. A well thought through visit to whoever is ill in a hospice or hospital may help. This could be backed up with recordings of popular medical TV programmes that depict someone who is seriously ill and dying.