When working with people who are grieving it is important to be sensitive and show that we care.

Many of us feel we should demonstrate strong emotional control and some people mistakenly feel that it is a weakness to show their emotions. However if we are genuinely moved by a situation and express our feelings by saying "I'm sorry" or by a touch or a gesture, we are showing the bereaved person that it is alright for them to express their own painful feelings.

Nothing we can do can make things better or take away the pain. Our role is to help people progress through the tasks of grieving. In order for people to heal the pain of a traumatic loss they must have a way of expressing their feelings and they need to be able to communicate these feelings to a supportive, caring person.

Often people worry about what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of an important person in their life. It is seldom helpful to put off mentioning the dead person and to resort to small talk. Avoiding the topic only serves to either collude in the denial of what has happened, or to fail to acknowledge the enormity of the loss that person is experiencing.

As professionals, it is useful to check how well we are communicating by asking the other person what they have heard and understood from what we have said. In distress, it can be difficult for people to absorb what we tell them, and it is our responsibility to ensure they have understood.